You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i think i have two assholes
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
