I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad