just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.