I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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