omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
