on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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