When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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