im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
