Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
