i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
