Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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