So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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