My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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