Non-Jews are for practice
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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