Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
