dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
