they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
