it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
