I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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