No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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