it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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