I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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