made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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