so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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