I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
