you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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