Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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