You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
