2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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