dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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