My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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