One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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