And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
