I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
