Sponge bath it is.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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