PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
