As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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