gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
