Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Watching her eat just hurts me
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
