I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
