and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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