So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
