I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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