Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
