Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
