I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
