so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize