I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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