did you get engaged???
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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