I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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