she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
