No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
