Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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