Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
