my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
