i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
