drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
