i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
