it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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