Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
