I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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