I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize