He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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