direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Two words: nipple clamps
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