I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize