Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
