just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
