i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
