WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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