I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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