sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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