why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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