i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize